Workplace

Set Your Goals NOW, Not January 1st

Why do we still set New Year’s resolutions when we know they don’t really work?

 

We do it because it feels good. The end of one year and the beginning of another is a time of reflection on the past and hopefulness for the future. It’s common to want to make goals and fantasize about plans for the future. But for years now, we’ve been hearing that New Year’s resolutions don’t work. Studies show most of us can only keep our resolutions going for a few weeks into the new year!

 

The reason for that is that on January 1st you have rose colored glasses. You’ve spent several weeks filled with the bliss of the holiday season. Now you’re looking ahead to the new year and all the possibilities it offers. Don’t’ get me wrong – I love the hopefulness, motivation, and clean-slate feeling that comes with a new year. But that “anything is possible” feeling, while it helps you in some ways, can hinder you in others.

 

Who’s better at setting goals? Optimists or pessimists?

 

When you set your goals for the year on January 1st, you may not be very realistic. The happiness and hopefulness of the holidays and new year could “trick” you into goals that don’t serve you. Research shows that pessimists, those who believe negative outcomes are likely, may be more accurate in their predictions of the world. That sounds like a good case for being pessimistic. But follow-up research revealed that even though pessimists were more realistic, optimists were still more successful in life, despite their inaccurate guesses about how well circumstances were going to turn out. This suggests that we’d all be better off if we had a nice balance of optimism and pessimism in our lives when we plan ahead and think about the future.

 

To maximize this optimism-pessimism balance, don’t do your annual goal setting or planning on January 1st. Instead, do your planning for the year now. We’re halfway through the year. You have a pretty good idea of how things are going and what direction they’re heading. You have a realistic opinion of how much time you have on a weekly basis to achieve your big goals. You have an accurate assessment of how much money you have in the bank and how much you need to accomplish your plans.

 

We’re now officially halfway through the year. The rose-colored glasses you were wearing on January 1st are off, and you can take a realistic assessment of your year so far. In fact, a little bit of pessimism can make you more motivated and successful, because you want to avoid the worst-case scenario. I’m all for optimism, but it has to be based in reality. For the best, most realistic shot at setting and achieving goals, do it now, not six months from now.

 

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Being Busy Doesn’t Cause Burnout. But THIS Does.

Why do some people get burned out? It DOESN’T happen just because you are stressed out, overwhelmed, or too busy. Learn the secret ingredients (besides just being busy) that lead to burnout, before you put yourself at risk.

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Are You About to be Burned Out at Work? This 3-Question Burnout Test Will Tell You

Work burnout is a scary thing – it takes dedicated, passionate employees and turns them into frustrated, detached time bombs. Burnout is a key component of employee turnover, and turnover has high costs both fiscally and for morale.

 

So it should go without saying that burnout is to be avoided at all costs. But do you always know when you’re at risk of burning out at work? Here’s a short test to help you find out…

 

1. How do you feel at the beginning of the workday?

a. tired

b. frazzled

c. raring to go

 

You probably guessed that “c” is a great answer to give. But if you think that option “b” is the prime indicator of burnout, you’re wrong. Feeling frazzled at work, especially at the beginning of the day, isn’t great news, but actual burnout results in a feeling of exhaustion before you even start. The reality is that you can be busy without being burned out. So just because you have a lot on your plate doesn’t automatically mean you’re at risk of burnout. It can lead to future burnout, so be careful. But don’t assume burnout just because you’re busy. It’s when you feel tired even when there’s a stack of work to be done that you’re at greatest risk. This element of burnout is called emotional exhaustion, and it’s one of the first indicators of burnout we might notice.

 

2. If you have to talk to your boss about something critical, what do you do to prepare?

a. I don’t bother preparing, because my boss trusts my judgement and will do what I recommend

b. I don’t bother preparing, because my boss isn’t likely to listen to my ideas anyway

c. I over-prepared, because my boss can be critical of my work

d. I bring a few supporting documents to back up my recommendation

 

This question is testing your depersonalization, another element of burnout. It might seem like “c” is the answer most common in burnout. But (like the question above) while “c” might be an indicator of a poor workplace culture, it’s actually not a burnout indicator. The burnout indicator is “b,” because it suggests that you don’t even need to try because whatever you say to your boss will be ignored. When a conflict or struggle goes on for so long that you have depersonalized the other person (see this prior blog post for more examples of risky workplace conflict), you’re at risk of burnout.

 

3. If you were invited to go to an Elementary School for career day, what would you say is the most worthwhile part of your job?

a. The paycheck

b. Helping people

c. Using my skills/smarts/strengths

 

No big surprise, here: the burnout indicator is “a.” Answer “a” suggests reduced personal accomplishment, the final burnout indicator. We can stand long hours, poor pay, silly uniforms, even rude customers, as long as we feel that the work we’re doing is worthwhile. For many years I worked in the nonprofit sector, where I often faced aaaaaallllll of the above indignities, but my job had purpose and that fueled my fire even when the days were long and the pay was piddling. If you lose the feeling of pride in your work, then the slightest struggle will cause you to lose your motivation and be at risk of burning out.

 

Want to know more about the burnout indicators? Check out this article in Workplace Psychology.

 

Burnout doesn’t just come from being too busy. You can absolutely be busy without burning out, so don’t fret just because you have a long to-do list. Pay attention to your emotional exhaustion, your feelings of engagement with your colleagues, and your sense of accomplishment and pride in your work. Those are the three factors that will let you know if you’re at risk of flaming out. Catch them fast, and don’t let burnout get to you!

 

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Do This FIRST If You Get Fired

Losing your job is a punch in the gut. If you get fired, here’s the first thing you can do to keep a positive outlook and increase your chances of getting back out there and acing the interview process.

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5 Warning Signs of Burnout Syndrome

If the alarm goes off and you just can’t face another day, you might be a victim of burnout syndrome. While burnout is not an official medical diagnosis and has no scientifically agreed-upon definition, burnout is understood as a feeling of exhaustion and dissatisfaction with life circumstances, whether at work or at home.

 

Most of us know what it feels like to have too much to do and not enough time to do it in. When we’re at our best, we can handle juggling everyday life stressors. (Need a little help? My free To-Do List Makeover will help you feel less frazzled!) But if you’re suffering from burnout syndrome, it’s more than just regular stress. You’ll likely feel several of these symptoms:

 

Tired

Feeling exhausted even if you’ve gotten plenty of sleep is a common sign of burnout. When you are burned out, you often feel a significant decrease in your energy level, which can lead to feeling much more tired than normal.

 

Sick

The stress that leads to burnout syndrome can take a toll on your immune system and cause you to be prone to headaches and upset stomach. An ER doctor once told me Sunday evenings were the busiest ER times because people under severe work stress are prone to chest pains, heartburn, or gastric conditions thinking about the work week ahead.

 

Detached

If you are normally highly engaged at work, but find yourself unwilling to get deeply involved in conversations and problem-solving, that’s a sign of burnout. Burned-out people pull away from their family and colleagues and they also use a technique called “depersonalization” to pull away when they’re in conflict with others. (Check out this article if you want a scientific take on burnout).

 

Numb

Not feeling your usual levels of happiness? Or even your usual levels of sadness? By the time you reach burnout, your emotions have likely been in such overdrive that it’s common to feel numb. You may think it’s great you don’t get angry so easily, but you also won’t feel joy or peace as easily, either.

 

Poor Performance

Burned-out people aren’t great employees, partners, parents, or friends. Because of the other 4 factors above, you’ve lost your motivation to participate and achieve. You might be forced to admit to your burnout after a surprising performance review, or a counseling request from your spouse.

 

 

There is no single agreed-upon method for treating burnout. One of the first things you can do is manage stress levels. To get less stressed, ask yourself:

 

  • Am I paying attention to the difference between important and urgent?

If you don’t already know about the Eisenhower Matrix, check it out!

  • Am I doing the activities that are most important to reach my personal goals?

Download my free To-Do List Makeover to fit more into your life without being more stressed

  • Am I burned out for a reason, and can I change my circumstance?

Many of the above signs can also be symptoms of depression, so if you implement new coping strategies or               change your circumstances and STILL notice these signs, it’s a good idea to have a conversation with a health care provider in order to get to the bottom of it.

You can come back from burnout, so don’t let it ruin your career or your life. If you catch these 5 signs of burnout, you can manage your stress, change your circumstances, and get back on track.

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How To Beat Stress Without Leaving Your Desk

Work stress can leave you feeling powerless, so here are two easy techniques you can use to refocus your energy and perspective if you’re feeling stressed out at work. And you can do it without ever leaving your desk! (Because I know you can’t always go for a walk or cuddle puppies in the middle of a busy work day).

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The Shocking Reason Women Feel More Stress at Work (And It’s Not What You Think!)

According to the Harvard Business Review, there’s a surprising reason women feel more stress in the workplace than men do, and it has nothing to do with childcare, emotions, or any of the things we usually suspect. Find out what trick your mind could be playing on you that’s causing stress and getting in the way of your success.

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Say These 3 Things When You’re Feeling Unappreciated at Work

This Friday is Employee Appreciation Day, when employees are supposed to feel even more valued than they SHOULD already feel. Sadly, the reality is that many employees feel disrespected, many managers aren’t great at listening, and lots of workplaces are full of conflict and contempt.

 

If you feel unappreciated at work, here are 4 short scripts you can use to get a little respect, and help yourself feel better about your work environment.

 

Say This:

“My plate is completely full with the X Project right now. If you’d like me to take on this new task, let’s discuss which priorities you want me to put on the back burner.”

Not This:

“Fine.” <as you walk out of the office huffing and eye rolling that your manager keeps piling more and more on you, as though you don’t already have plenty to do>

Because:

We often think that our employers know exactly how much work we’re balancing – they’re the ones who gave it to us, after all! And if we make that assumption, then when they pile more work on, we feel unappreciated, like “don’t I do enough around here?!?!” Your manager may be forgetting how much work you take on, because you’re so good at it that they don’t have to worry – it’s almost like a backhanded compliment. So don’t stay silent. Speak up and remind them of your workload. No bonus points for passive aggressively taking more work on and feeling unappreciated!

 

 

Say This:

“I would appreciate it if you would look at the proposal I sent and give me feedback, so I can proceed.”

Not This:

“Sorry, but can you please look at my proposal?”

Because:

Save your sorries for when the situation calls for it! Recent studies reveal women, in particular, apologize for things that don’t need to be apologized for. When you say “I’m sorry,” simply for interrupting your manager’s time, it can be perceived as a sign that their time isn’t worth being spent on you. There’s no need to apologize for asking for a moment of your manager’s time in order to get your work done. Phrase your request in a strong but polite way, and you’ll be commanding respect.

 

 

Say This:

“I’m really pleased with the work I did on the X Project. I’d love your feedback so I can see if my evaluation of the work is accurate.”

Not This:

<Nothing, and hope your good work gets recognized come promotion time.>

Because:

It’s okay to toot your own horn when it’s well deserved! We sometimes assume our higher-ups should notice our successes, and then we get frustrated if they don’t acknowledge them. But managers are human, and sometimes they forget or don’t realize how much their feedback would mean to you. So ask!

 

 

We all need respect in order to enjoy our jobs, so speak up with confidence and say these three things. The odds are good that your manager respects you and just forgets to say it, so ask to be appreciated and hopefully it will come your way.

 

Happy Employee Appreciation Day! I appreciate you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS – in a perfect world, how would your boss show appreciation to you?

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Stress Relief Strategies for Entrepreneurs

How does an entrepreneur deal with stress? These three techniques – tailored specifically to the needs and worries of entrepreneurs – will help you feel peace, find moral support, and avoid stress triggers.

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The One Way Stress Makes You BETTER at Your Job

No one wants to be stressed out at work, but do we have a choice? We’re all being asked to do more with less, and do it faster. So stress is a natural reaction to high expectations and pressure.

 

Stress can cause burnout, employee turnover, frustration and anger around the office. But research suggests there may be ONE upside to work-related anxiety that might surprise you.

 

Stress might cause you to make more accurate decisions.

 

This is Your Brain on Stress

 

That’s right – it’s possible that people who feel anxious might be better judges of possible outcomes and problems, and therefore make better decisions. (In this interesting gender-study, for example, men in particular made very risky decisions under pressure, while women tended to take fewer risks and make more accurate judgements, even under the same pressure.) But men and women both might get more eerily accurate at making decisions the more pressure they’re under. From hitting high notes while singing to hitting targets at the gun range, stress seems to correlate with precision.

 

Wonder why that is? Me, too.

 

It may have something to do with stress making us more pessimistic. For years we’ve known that pessimists make more realistic, accurate predictions about the future than optimists. Optimists can tend to think big and envision the future positively, so their expectations of the future aren’t always realistic. It’s possible that under anxiety, we all get a little more pessimistic, and because of that, our accuracy gets better.

 

Being the Boss of Stress

 

For whatever reason, it happens. Stress makes you more accurate. So… what are you going to do about it?

 

The next time you feel anxious, here’s how you can use it to your advantage:

  • Reevaluate your current goals. Don’t cross any of them off in a fit of pessimism, but take a realistic look at whether your timeline needs to be adjusted.
  • Be a star at work. Use your accuracy to your advantage and speak up in meetings where the team is making plans.
  • Plan a vacation or other personal experience. Your accuracy will make you great at picking the best B&B! You’ll be less likely to get duped by flowery language or wide angle photography.

 

Stress is unpleasant, but it doesn’t have to be a completely terrible experience. One great book on using stress to your advantage is The Upside of Stress, by Kelly McGonigal. In her research, stress was most damaging only if you THOUGHT it would hurt you. In fact, if you follow her steps, you can actually use stress to your advantage.

So if you want to be better at your job, don’t freak out the moment you feel stressed. Lean in to the stress, show off your awesome, accurate decision-making, and make stress work for you.

 

 

 

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